Sick Sick Sick

                Over the past few months I have been battling all sorts of sickness.  I feel like I had GI issues every other week which came equipped with stomach pain and the like. I had really bad insomnia, where I kid you not I slept a  total of three hours each night going to bed at almost 3 or 4 am every day. And on top of all that I was dealing with the worst headaches of my life. When they got to be the very worst I was in so much pain I could barely stand up and don’t even get me started on how much light affected my headaches, which is hard when the sun is almost always so bright. I would do my best to push through and be at work and teach as best I can, but honestly my health really got to me some days and I had to reluctantly stay in bed and rest all day. My school was very supportive and caring about getting me healthy.  My anxiety gets the best of me and tells me I am not doing nearly enough and some of my classes have had to be put on the backburner so I could take care of my health, which is very hard for me to do. I’d rather push myself and get work done than to rest and let people down. Even though I know I didn’t ever let anyone down. Being sick in country is difficult especially when you don’t get to go to school and teach like you want to. However, I know I am coming out stronger because I put myself first.

                We don’t need to go into the GI issues because one it’s gross and two it’s very common and happens often. However, these headaches and insomnia were bad so we’ll go over that a little bit just so you can understand a bit more about what was happening. The headaches and insomnia were happening at the same time. However the insomnia got figured out first. Well when I say figured out I mean they gave me strong sleeping pills took that for a few days and my sleep cycle was reset and since then I have been sleeping somehow well. We don’t know what caused my insomnia, maybe it was my stress or anxiety I don’t really know. All I do know is that it’s pretty much figured out and I am sleeping well. To say I was watching so much TV and reading so many books during this time is an understatement. Not sleeping sucked but at least I wasn’t bored through it.

                Now, let’s talk about those headaches. I get headaches often in the states but usually they are due to dehydration and I could take medicine hydrate and they’d go away. Here they’d last for weeks; medicines was just a temporary fix and despite what people were telling me I know they were not from dehydration. It took me a while but I eventually went into PCMO but they couldn’t find anything wrong and I didn’t really fight for more tests to be done, so they gave me medicine and I went home. Again the medicine worked for a little bit but the headaches would usually always come back. Again it took me a while to go back to PCMO because I thought I could handle them and I just figured they wouldn’t find anything wrong again. However they were just getting worse and I couldn’t take the risk of being so close to passing out while teaching, so on Tuesday I went back to PCMO and they ran more tests and sent me to an eye doctor in order to finally figure out what the fuck was going on with my brain.

AND YAYAYAYAY WE HAVE A DIAGONISIS!!!!

                I have what is called optical neuritis which is an inflamed optic nerve in my left eye. Not sure of the cause, but my assumption is that I got dust in my eye and that caused an infection which caused the nerve to become inflamed. I am on eye drops and other antibiotics and I can already tell things are getting better. I still get small headaches but they are not nearly as bad as they were. Thank the LORD I should be all healed so soon. I have to come into PCMO in a week to check the healing.

                All of this has been very difficult on my anxiety, because I make everything bigger than it is. I honestly thought I had a brain tumor because that is what my mind does. It stresses out and makes things up. I am still working on my anxiety; it will always be a one day at a time process.

                I hope these ramblings gave you a look into what my last few months were like. As always ask me anything you want to know I am open and will always be honest. Also if you ever want to talk about your anxieties, or insecurities or anything I am here to listen and give advice where needed. I don’t have all the answers but I am always willing to try and help.