Check in part 1

             Two months into the year and my resolutions are already being pushed to the back burner. Okay maybe not the back burner but they definitely aren’t all being fulfilled.  I am proud to say that some of them are being worked on and I am doing pretty well trying to achieve the change that I most desire for my life. Let’s do a quick recap of my goals, to begin to control my anger better, to work on my anxiety and insecurities, work on my relationship with the Lord, continue you my weight loss journey, blog twice a month, and lastly do more things that make me happy. Okay well let’s talk about how I am doing.

                I am trying to control my anger and I am seeing (well having phone calls with…) a therapist we haven’t gotten to the point where we are working on my anger just yet. However, I have been trying to work on controlling it myself, however I haven’t been given tools or tips so I still struggle but I am definitely working on it. It just isn’t going very well. It’s important that I do acknowledge that I am trying and working on things even if I haven’t achieved the goal yet. I know that working on anger and it isn’t going to be fixed overnight.

                With my therapist I have been spending time working on my anxiety, I know that part of my anger comes from my anxiety and the fear that it causes.  That is the reason that I have chosen to work on my anxiety first. I am so proud to say that I am getting much better at handling my anxiety and not allowing it to control my thoughts. Now, I still struggle and again it’s not going to be fixed overnight but I am getting tips and tricks that are helping me to not dwell and to focus my thoughts on other things. My weekly therapy phone calls can be rough, meaning we bring up past pain to see where my anxiety comes from, but they are what I look forward to weekly and what I know is helping me maintain my anxiety better and better each week.

                Wow, my relationship with the Lord. I HATE saying this but this isn’t a priority. It hasn’t been something that I have set as a priority. There are several reasons that I haven’t made it a priority and I think it boils down to fear. Fear to face the fact that I have been running away from the Lord, fear of how to develop a relationship again with the changes that I have made. I am trying to set time aside each day to listen to worship music, journal, read my bible and pray. I just cannot discipline myself enough to begin setting aside that time. I think I just need to make it a habit and it will become easy. I am going to try to work on it this week and I will blog about things that come up.

                Weight loss, weight loss, weight loss, which is something that is honestly constantly on my mind. I want to make progress to attaining my goal weight, and I am still losing weight just not as much as I would like. The reason is simple, it’s because I am not working out. So, I need to begin doing a daily work out that will allow me to continue losing the weight I so desire and becoming healthy. I have been struggling with eating and every time after I eat I begin to despise my body, feel bloated, and I know longer love the way I look. However, the truth is I weigh less than I have in years and I was beautiful then and I am beautiful now. So when it comes to weight loss I am trying to remind myself that I am eating well and that food is needed for energy and to maintain a healthy living. Self-love is truly a daily sometimes hourly battle. I have to fight daily to believe that my body is beautiful curves and all. In January I did a shoot that I will be posting onto my blog Instagram. The shoot was all about my curves and how I am beautiful with or without them. So as I continue to encourage people to always feel beautiful I will be posting those pictures on my Instagram. If you want to follow along head to @withbravewingsshewillflyblog and you can see how they turned out.

                Well you all know just as well as I do that January I blogged twice and February I did not. I didn’t make it a priority and so I was only able to complete one blog. So in March I will make up for it and blog three times. So stay tuned.

                As for doing things that make me happy I can say that I think I have been doing pretty well. I have been reading a lot which makes me extremely happy and keeps me calm. I have been teaching the classes I want which again makes me happy because teach truly does bring me an immense amount of joy. I have also being meeting new people and making new friends. So I am saying yes to things that make me happy and no to things that don’t. Now I am unable to say yes to all things that make me happy… Sometimes the funds just are not there and I have to say no even if I want to say yes. But I just stay at my site and do what makes me happy there and still model say yes to what makes you happy and no to what doesn’t.

                Okay, so I guess I am doing better with my resolutions that I originally thought. Doing blog check in allows me to check my progress and reevaluate what is needed to complete my goals. I think this week I am going to write down a daily schedule, that I will share with all of you that I will try to achieve each day in order to reach my goals. I encourage each of you if you have resolutions for the year periodically check in on your progress you might be surprised about how well you are actually doing. I desire this year to be a year of growth. I want to come out of 2018 better, stronger, braver, and healthier in mind body and soul. Here is to making that happen and you all to be here for the journey. I appreciate you all so much and I am so thankful you read my blog. Continue reading and as always feel free to share your thoughts, questions, and what you want to see me write about. This blog is as much for you as it is for me. I want to make it funny, honest, relateable, and interesting so let me know what you want to see.