Hey guys, long time no talk. I've been missing you guys. I know how crazy things are right now for everyone with everything with COVID19. I am sure some of you are still working or unfortunately temporally unemployed. I am here temporally unemployed waiting for things to clear up so I can get back to work. I am trying to build my side hustle biz so I can continue to help provide for my family. In this scary time we gotta do what we can to take care of those we love right? My fiancé is trying to find temporary work and I am building my Color Street Biz. It is 100% nail polish strips that give you a salon quality mani or pedi. In this time where the salons are closed I want to be people's nail girl and help them have pretty nails. I help people keep their nails pretty and people help me provide for my family. That's my only biz plug.
I am here trying to get through each day with a smile on my face. That has been so damn difficult with all the uncertainty. I am so damn anxious all the time. I am so worried about money and making sure that Kyle and I can continue to wedding plan, have food, and a roof over our head. I constantly feel like I am on the verge of tears. I have watched far too much TV. Name a show and I have probably watched it. (No not Tiger King), we will not be binging that show any time soon if ever. My sleep hours have been completely flipped around. I am up till 5 am and I sleep till 12pm. I cannot tell if this is healthy or not or if it even matters.
Along with my anxieties, fears, and crazy fucking emotions I have also been dealing with self love. I realize that I don't have many friends so I feel lonely despite constantly having my sweet fiancé by my side. He really does make everything better I just desperately need some girl friends. I have also been battling with my looks. I look in the mirror one part of the day and I am like "Girrrrl you looking good" then two hours later I look in the mirror and I am like "Well fuck girl, I am not feeling myself today. I look horrible, feel ginormous (I am not naive I know I am plus size, very plus size). I have always battled with body positivity and self love. We have talked about it a bit on my blogs. I constantly struggle with my weight normal going up but I get it down from time to time. It's hard. It's a battle. Right now I am battling with getting up and moving. I am so anxious all the time and a little depressed that I struggle with getting out or getting up and working out. I know I need to more than ever. I keep saying I will do it tomorrow. I was listening to Rachel Hollis' book "Girl Wash Your Face" and she was saying stop breaking promises to yourself. I need to stop saying I will start tomorrow and finally start today. Every. Single. Day. Get up and move. Take control of my own life. Stop being so damn anxious and hard on myself.
I really do believe that things are going to get better. I just feel like I am so close to hitting rock bottom before I do. If any of you are struggling at all with any of this. Let me know. Shoot me a message and let's talk. Stay home. Stay distant. Stop the spread.
I am here trying to get through each day with a smile on my face. That has been so damn difficult with all the uncertainty. I am so damn anxious all the time. I am so worried about money and making sure that Kyle and I can continue to wedding plan, have food, and a roof over our head. I constantly feel like I am on the verge of tears. I have watched far too much TV. Name a show and I have probably watched it. (No not Tiger King), we will not be binging that show any time soon if ever. My sleep hours have been completely flipped around. I am up till 5 am and I sleep till 12pm. I cannot tell if this is healthy or not or if it even matters.
Along with my anxieties, fears, and crazy fucking emotions I have also been dealing with self love. I realize that I don't have many friends so I feel lonely despite constantly having my sweet fiancé by my side. He really does make everything better I just desperately need some girl friends. I have also been battling with my looks. I look in the mirror one part of the day and I am like "Girrrrl you looking good" then two hours later I look in the mirror and I am like "Well fuck girl, I am not feeling myself today. I look horrible, feel ginormous (I am not naive I know I am plus size, very plus size). I have always battled with body positivity and self love. We have talked about it a bit on my blogs. I constantly struggle with my weight normal going up but I get it down from time to time. It's hard. It's a battle. Right now I am battling with getting up and moving. I am so anxious all the time and a little depressed that I struggle with getting out or getting up and working out. I know I need to more than ever. I keep saying I will do it tomorrow. I was listening to Rachel Hollis' book "Girl Wash Your Face" and she was saying stop breaking promises to yourself. I need to stop saying I will start tomorrow and finally start today. Every. Single. Day. Get up and move. Take control of my own life. Stop being so damn anxious and hard on myself.
I really do believe that things are going to get better. I just feel like I am so close to hitting rock bottom before I do. If any of you are struggling at all with any of this. Let me know. Shoot me a message and let's talk. Stay home. Stay distant. Stop the spread.
Comments
Post a Comment